I took part in a contest to win a scholarship for essence of bellydance teacher training. I didn't make the wins, but I discovered a deeper relationship with my philosophy on dance.
Like I tell you in my contest video, I never thought I would become a dancer. I haven't taken really any lessons when I was young, so I thought the game was over. I have taken my first ballet class seven months ago with no idea of what is a tendu or plie. I really thought for a long time it was too late to start or "become" a dancer. Sometimes I feel like digging a hole for myself in the ground when I see people who started as children and have a longer background in their dance studies.
That brings me to a question: what is dance really for? What is it for me? Why do I dance anyway?
I went to bellydance class when I was in my twenties. As a beginner in dance it felt really natural and it was fun to move my body in a feminine way. There was always this longing to be feminine and becoming more in touch with my body really made it more real. We could actually go and be WOMEN and enjoy of it! No need to be hiding our hips or feel embarrassed. I think to really shine there needs to be a certain level of acceptance with your body and movement.
Since that bellydance has been on and off in my life. For some years I was a "closet-dancer", dancing in the privacy of my home. Recently it has become all the more bigger part of my life. And peeking a new way of life.
Because it is not just about dance.
Whether it is bellydance, ballet, hiphop, modern dance, improvisation
WHY do I dance? Where does it come from? What is moving me?
A longing to feel the dance from the inside out. Express my emotions and feminine essence. To feel the body with a growing awareness and presence. Tapping into the moment of NOW. Whether it was learning your technique, memorizing a new choreography, improvising on a theme. Cultivating a new relationship with sensuality and sensing the body, mind and soul.
I often fall into a pit of thinking I am not ready enough. Not ready to dance, not ready to perform, to choreo, improvise... thinking i need to be accomplishing all the time. A need to be somewhere else all the time and this moment is never good enough.
When this moment is perfect.
By being fully present and accepting this moment there is born a magic portal to step through to a journey of discovery, transformation and creativity.
Sometimes we really need opportunities to let go and be with ourselves and each other. Moments to show some loving for your hips. A dance practice that derives from a communication of self-love, healing and beauty. Beauty, that comes from the inside out, thru accepting and loving yourself in the moment of Now.